Femiwhatzi

Five Things I really don't have f***ing time for right now: 

1. People who claim "feminism is sooooo outdated and unnecessary!" Do you have a mother? A sister? A girlfriend (haha! As if)? Maybe a daughter (may she be helped by Shiva, the Destroyer)? 

Can that woman vote? Can she go to college? Does she have a better chance of learning to read than getting raped, unlike women in South Africa?

Yeah, you're welcome, oh and read a little bit about the millions of women who live outside of your idealistic, entitled, snot-nosed little utopian fantasy. 

2. People who whine, "We're not on any side because we criticize Republicans too" and weakly say, "Yeah Bush sort of spent a lot" while they take a brief breather from lambasting Obama/democrats with more zeal than the raccoons that go through my garbage every morning at 3am sharp in what I can only assume is a speed-fueled frenzy. 

3. Inconsistent neocons. Healthcare reform? The Founding Fathers would stroke out over it! Patriot Act? Ummm....that had something to do with not burning flags, right? Imperialistic takeovers of other countries? Why not?! After all, Washington would've approved.

4. People who decry the gang-banging, tattooed, welfare-draining, bad-word-using, bad-driving, morality-eroding, bad-English speaking, nonwhitemidwesternnorthamericanism Hispanic/Chinese/Native American/African American/sympathetic liberal (traitors!). Hey! Guess what! We can all see through your little gauzy mask of "patriotism" to the pathetic, terrified, racist bigot underneath.

5. People who harp on the GOP wins in the recent midterm elections as a "mandate" for total and complete annihilation of the Obama administration, despite the fact that they saw the election of Obama as a clear sign that the majority of Americans were possessed by a horde of communist demons and needed an exorcism from the few, privileged conservative white knights still able to see through the lies of the anti-Christ to God's True Plan. Are you a minority or a majority? Is the American public overwhelming supporting your conservative agenda, or are you swamped underneath a tide of unfair, incredible liberal bias and power? Make up your damn mind. 

Seriously, gfy.